Look, it’s 1:30 a.m and I just got home. I have received an award and I’ll post it on my next one…for now though, I need to post this one while it is still fresh on my mind.

2 days ago I received an email asking this question…

“Slick, since you’re a father, why don’t you write more posts about your children?”

Well, the answer is a simple one….

While I love each and every one of my kids and would literally lay down my life in a heartbeat for any one of them, the reason I hardly post about them is because…

They annoy the ever living shit out of me.

They’re always leaving lights on wherever they go, they make a mess faster than a tornado can, and one of our offspring decided to turn the air on and leave it on for a few hours while the windows were up!

They leave shoes all over the damn place and we can’t step 3 feet inside a Wal Mart without being begged to purchase this or that.

My two 9 year old daughters are holding true to their feminism and are moody as hell. I have to find out why every 3 hours they have stopped talking to each other.

The boys are constantly wrestling and I’m pretty sure they’ve broken something….I just don’t know what yet.

My “little eater” of the family keeps taking a shit in the downstairs bathroom that’s located near the kitchen.

Discard dirty socks by the patio door, the livingroom TV has been taken over by the Wii, and they asked me yesterday for my password to my laptop! (Yeah, right)

Me? A “Daddy Blogger”? I don’t think so….

Because I’m so busy…..enjoy this post from one of my former sites.

Advice on healthy relationships.

I know, I know…you’re saying “Uh Oh, Mike’s about to step in it”, right?

I probably am but maybe you, my 3 million readers, need the enlightenment?

Here’s my perspective on certain hot topics when it comes to relationships. (Keyword being “my”)

Household Chores:
This should be shared equally. That’s my opinion. Matter of fact, I’ll give you a quick example. Last night Trish cleaned the tub, toilet, and the kitchen sink while I helped and cleaned the bathroom mirror.

Shopping:
This should be shared equally. That’s my opinion as well. Did I hear you say you wanted another example? Sure! I remind Trish what we need for the household while she stops by Wal Mart on her way in from work after a 9 hour day to pick said items up. See how the cooperation between genders works so far?

Christmas Gift Wrapping:
This should be shared by no one. The female can pick up gift bags at the Dollar Tree while she is picking up the household items. Of course, the male needs to do his equal part in the “Shopping” by reminding her about the gift bags.

Who Gets The Bed??
After a big argument. That’s a toss up. It’s like playing “King of the Hill”. My theory on this is whoever gets the angriest gets the bed. Period. For example, after the 4th shoe across the bridge of my nose, I’m heading for the couch. Obviously she’s angrier than I am. She wins.

Movie Watching:
3 action/blood/horror movies to her 1 sappy love chick flick. Everyone’s happy.

These are just a few things that, in my humble opinion, I’ve found makes a relationship a healthy one.

So,while I sit here and watch 2 women pull each other’s hair out and yank each other’s shirts off on the “Springer Show”, I smile. Knowing one day, someone will give them a copy of this and they too, shall find solice in knowing they’re capable of having a healthy relationship with a man they’ll never have to resort to fighting over.

I am a happy man today. Bless you all.

Later.

I got the family up early (minus 2 of our kids) and we headed to the local state park.

This park offers bike trails, nature trails, lift buckets, a gift shop, fishing lakes, and just about everything else you can think of that you don’t really wanna do. Especially when it’s HOT outside.

I mean, we walked 1.3 miles, straight up hill. Like some dumbasses or something.

We bet both kids 5 bucks that they wouldn’t make it to the top…..I’m out 10 bucks. When there’s money on the line, they find determination they usually don’t have when doing their household chores.

Anyway, this park offers beautiful views…

Now, I’m about to do something I don’t usually do….

Provide you with a link to my Flickr account. Only because I’m too damn lazy to link the rest of the pictures.

Peruse them if you’re interested…..if not, get the hell out.

Rest of the pictures HERE

Hope you perverts are having a GREAT Saturday!!

After reading through the comments on my last post, you people are just filthy. Well, half of you are…..the other half is just boring as hell. Boring or filthy, take your pick.

Anyway, I have found a new past time…

I pull up my favorite Jessica Alba photo, make it kinda small, drag it to the top right corner, and proceed to peruse all those blogs that are filled with erotic writing.

I read so many yesterday that I’m feeing quite confident that I can write my own erotic poem.

I know what you’re thinking….but I’m not AS innocent as you think I am! I mean, I’ve had my fair share of sexual experiences and if I must say, I’ve enjoyed all 3 of them. That should make me somewhat of an expert in the field of erotic writing, don’t you agree? One of those 3 was even with a Jewish girl!

Now, please be gentle and remember, I have a very fragile ego….

I’m still fine tuning it.

It’s a work in progress, people….a work in progress.

Look, give me a break you bastards! It’s almost midnight, I just got in from work, and the only thing I have in my lap is my laptop. I’m pathetic.

But I do have a big bowl of spaghetti so it’s not all bad.

I’m off until Sunday afternoon

In even more of an effort to clean this den of iniquity up, I want you to fill in the blanks.

This is not pass or fail….

I’m just weeding out all the “bad apples” so to speak. Ridding this site of the vermin that has plagued it for so long. Shedding this tarnished image I have been given by the likes of you perverted bastards by banning your IP addresses.

Ok, here goes…please answer wisely.

When I am naked, I _________ with a ____________.

And by the way, Dana and Chica….the link you two provided yesterday wasn’t no damn cleavage. How thoroughly you two have disappointed me.

I will soon be having a guest blogger, soon as she gets her shit straight and for those of you who are interested in doing one also, let me know.